I Won't Be Afraid
by ruiiko
Summary: I won't shed a tear. Just as long as you stand by me.


**So, I've been listening to 'Stand by Me' by Ben E. King for a while now. It has slowly became one of my favorite songs. Which inspired this fic! I've kinda had an idea for this song for a while, but it came to me just today. So here it is! Enjoy!**

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_" If the sky, that we look upon_  
_Should tumble and fall_  
_All the mountains should crumble to the sea_  
_I won't cry, I won't cry_  
_No, I won't shed a tear_  
_Just as long as you stand, stand by me "_  
-_ Ben E. King _

2 years had passed.

'_This happend all too fast.' _ The young girl thought, standing in front of his grave. It was raining heavily out, her shoes stuck in the mud. But that was okay. She didn't mind too much. The rain hides tears anyways. '_Way too fast.'_

The grave was entitled with, 'Here lies Len Kagamine. Gone but never forgotten.' Rin's counterpart. Her beloved brother. Her best-friend. He was her everything. But fate seemed to be cruel.

The young blonde closed her eyes for a moment, as millions of memories flashed past her. Good memories, sad memories, among others. Rin and Len had never been separate, since birth. They were always together. Which just made it all the more harder for Rin to cope with the fact he was gone. She tried not to accept it, though. Some days she liked to just imagine he went on a little adventure with his friends, and he'd be back for Rin someday, and they'd be together forever. But deep down inside, she knew that was far from true.

2 years ago, Len had been hit by a dump truck. He had been walking back from the corner store by himself, getting atreat for himself and Rin. He hadn't been paying attention when he crossed, and the dump truck had just hit him. Rin could never forget that horrible day. Remembering the screams coming from her mother to find out he baby boy had been hit. He had been rushed to a hospital, but there was little the doctors could do. They had lost him before the doctors could even really do anything.

Rin squeezed her eyes tightly, trying to prevent the tears from flowing.

"Len," Rin breathed, sinking to her knees in front of her brothers grave. "Please come back...' She silently sobbed, digging her nails into the muddy ground. She knew he wasn't coming back. But that didn't change a thing. She'd stay here as long as she needed to, if she had to. If it meant that Len came back... she'd wait here for an eternity. She needed some sort of sign that he was still out there, somewhere.

'Rin..." A quiet voice came. Rin's mother, who gently touched her daughter's shoulder.

"Don't touch m-me!" Rin cried, swatting her hand away angrily. She didn't want to leave her dearest brother. Not now, not ever.

"Rin, please... you've been out here for so long. Come home." Her mother tried to reason with her.

"No!" Rin shouted, a crack of thunder sounding off in the distance.

Her mother sighed. "Then you leave me no choice." She mumbled, gripping her daughter's arms, trying to pull her up to her feet. But Rin tried her best to resist. "No! Let me go! I'm not leaving!" She screamed, but alas. Her mother was stronger, and had managed to drag the kicking and screaming Rin back to the car to go home.

Xx

The times when Rin wasn't sitting with Len's grave, she was sleeping.

Sleeping was nice. She could forget about everything for a while. She whished she could just sleep forever, until Len would come home. He would stroke the hair out of her face gently, whispering into her ear for her to wake up. If she didn't, he would gently tickle her with a finger, until she did. He would always do that in the morning. So Rin had a hard time getting up now, often. I mean, really, was there even a purpose to waking up now? Her mornings were often filled with cold sweat and tears, as her parents tried convincing her she had to get up.

They'd always tell her, she had to try and keep on moving, but how could she? Why would she want to? Her parents really didn't understand just how much Len meant to her. He was her knight in shining armor. Her partnet in crime. They always had eachothers backs! But who had her back now? Nobody. Her knight in shining armor had lost the battle.

Rin didn't often dream much now. 2 whole years since Len's passing, and she had stopped dreaming completely. If she did dream at all, they were just nightmares.

If Rin ever had a nightmare, Len would always calm her down. She'd panic, while he wrapped her arms around her, patting her back gently and re-assuring her it was just a dream. She was sort of childish, in a sense. She was so afraid of nightmares, she'd have Len sleep next to her, just incase. Whenever he was around her, she always felt so safe. He just gave off an aura of calmess, making Rin feel calm.

But now, of course, since he wasn't here, all Rin could do if she had a nightmare was try and reassure herself it was just a dream, panicing the entire time. She couldn't do it. She'd let her nightmares get the best of her, and let them eat away at her.

But today was alittle different.

After coming home from the cementary, Rin cleaned herself off, before locking herself in her room and falling into a deep sleep. But this time, she was having a dream. Not a nightmare, though. It was actually kind of nice.

Rin was in a completely white room. There was literally nothing in sight, but clear, bright white lights. The girl looked around, squinting. She could hear her footsteps against the floor, echoing in the room. 'Hello?" Rin called out. Another echo, her voice.

She was all alone.

Could this be heaven? If it was, where was Len?

"Helloooo?" Rin called out again, looking around.

Nothing.

Rin sighed, as she took a seat on the ground. Her knees curled into her chest, and her arms wrapped around her legs, burying her head. She was alone. Again.

As if it wasn't as bad as in reality, she had to dream about being alone, too.

"Rin." A males voice came.

Rin's head shot up, to see Len standing in front of her. He was wearing all white, gone barefoot. He looked calm, and as Rin looked up at him, he smiled.

Rin could feel tears rushing to her eyes. A smile lit up her face, as she sprung up from the ground, leaping at him. 'Len!" She yelled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, and burying her head in the corner of his neck, sobbing deeply. "Len, Len, Len, Len...!" She cried, squeezing him tightly.

Len still had a smile on his face, as he chuckled lightly, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer. "Shh," he cooed.

Rin's sobs came to a slow, as Len rocked her back in forth in his arms. Rin's legs felt like jello, her face felt like it was on fire. "Oh, Len..." Rin sighed deeply, feeling more tears come to her eyes. She didn't allow them to fall though. She had to be somewhat strong infront of her brother.

"Shh," Len said again. "Just be silent."

Rin obliged, feeling the tears slowing down. Even if it was only for now, she could feel a genuine smile form on her lips. She hadn't felt this relaxed in such a long time. But just the feeling of being held in his arms was enough to make her feel calm and collected. She missed this so much. She missed every minute she had with him. She missed Len, oh so dearly. She wished she could have more moments like this. She wished this was real. It deffinately felt real, anyways. That was good enough for Rin. She just wished this moment would never stop. Just silently holding eachother, without any worries.

After a moment, the two pulled away from eachother, just to look eachother in the eyes. Len staring at her with such a calm face, Rin staring back with tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes from crying. The blonde boy caressed her face, wiping her tears away. "Please don't cry." Len was still smiling gently. "You look so much more prettier when you smile."

Rin looked down, but there was still a smile on her face. All she could do was smile right now. She took Len's hands in her own, using her thumbs to caress the back side of his hands, which were smooth. He always had such smooth, warm hands. "I just missed you so much." She whispered, swinging his hands in hers.

"I know." Len whispered back, looking down on her. She was only a few inches shorter than he was.

"I thought I'd never see you again!" Rin said, raising her voice a little. But Len pressed a finger against her lips.

"Shh. I know. I've missed you too."

"Then how come you've never come to see me?" Rin looked up at him, sadness showing greatly in her eyes, even though there was a smile on her lips. "How come you waited this long?"

Len shook his head. "Oh Rin... I've been with you, every single day. I'm always with you. In your heart." He said, poking her chest where her heart was.

"No... I would have been able to tell." Rin argued.

"Beileve me. I was. I've watched you everyday, to make sure you were okay. I tried to keep you safe to." Len said.

Rin tilted her head. 'How?"

"You don't realise it?" Len laughed a little. "I can't do much, but I've been doing small things at a time. If you'd fall asleep at your desk while doing homework, I'd finish it for you. I put your binders in your bags for school, because I know you'll forget. You know when you'd find small amount of money in your pockets? That's me, giving you lunch money. I haven't forgotten about you, Rin. I'm always watching out for you."

Rin thought back on all those times. Come to think of it, those were some odd times. Come to think of it, she remembered waking up, realising her essay was due on that certain day, but she hadn't finished it the night before. She was shocked to find it had been finished! She thought maybe her mom or dad had done it, but had always been too nervous to ask. She remembered getting an A on it, aswell.

Her lips twisted up into a curve again. "That was really all you?"

"It sure was." Len smiled back, loving the light that was now shining brightly in her eyes. "See, theres that million dollar smile I love!" He laughed, and tugged the corners of her lips further up. "Smile more!"

"hey!" Rin yelped, but couldn't help but laugh. She loved moments like this.

But she still had questions she needed to ask Len.

"Len... why haven't you atleast come to see me in dreams, though?" She questioned.

Len stopped trying to get Rin to smile, a serious expression lighting his face. "I... I wanted you to try and experience being independent."

Rin frowned. Len had a feeling she would. And she probably would like his explanation, and what else he had to say about it.

"Why?" Rin asked, her voice dropping into a whisper again.

Len was silent for a moment again, gazing in her eyes. He almost felt bad for doing this to her. He knew how much Rin depended on him, and he needed her to, but... there wasn't much he could do. He was dead, after all. " We've been together every day since birth." Len began.

"Yeah, so? I wish it could have stayed that way!" Rin exclaimed.

Len only pressed a finger against her lips again. "I know. I wish it could have, too, but what can I really do? I've had to deal with being away from you for two years."

"And? You think I haven't been feeling any pain either? Do you know how hard it is even getting out of bed in the mornings?" Rin countered, pushing his hand away. So what, she wasn't aloud to feel hurt at all? She was the one still breathing, after all. She was still alive. Len wasn't.

Len only ignored her comments, going on with explaining. "I wanted to see if you could be more independent. And look how far you've come Rin, I'm so proud of you," Len smiled, cupping his hands around her cheeks, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I'm always watching you. I know you're every move, every tear that comes from your eyes, everything that comes from your mouth. I know that you think you can't make it, that you can't do it without me, but you have been, Rin. For two whole years. Some days will be darker than others, but look how far you've come, Rin!" He exclaimed.

Rin felt tears swell up in her eyes again. She didn't want to cry... no more. Len'd words had some truth to them, though. As much as she didn't want to except the fact he was gone, she knew he was. There was nothing she could do about it. But life goes on. And he was right, she had made it this far without him. There were times were Rin really didn't think she'd be able to do it, but she had. All the times she had considered taking her life, she knew that that wouldn't have been what Len would have wanted. Even if it meant that they'd be together again... there was always a little voice screaming in the back of her mind not to do it. But that didn't stop the hurt and confusion Rin was starting to feel all over again, from seeing Len. From being held by him.

"Then why did you come to see me today?" Rin whispered. Why today of all days? If Len knew she could do it, why would he want to just build her all up again only to break her down when she woke up?

'What, you don't wanna see me?" Len chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little.

But Rin only glared back at him with serious eyes.

"I just... I have my own reasons. I really did miss you, I wanted to see you, just as much as you wanted to see me. And I wanted to re-assure you that everything will be okay. You just gotta keep on going though."

Rin dropped her head again though. "Really though, how can I go on without you? You say that life goes on, but not everyday is sunshine and happiess."

"I know. And there will be days that are harder than the others, but again, you've come so far. Which is why... well, there was another reason I had to see you. I have a request for you." Len said.

"Anything... what is it?" Rin tried to smile.

"I don't want you to be sad about me. Go on about your life. I know you have lots of friends, count on them. They are there for you, after all. Try and be happy. Please? For my sake, Rin." Len said.

Rin stared into his eyes. "Are you really sure I can do this?"

"I'm certain you can." Len re-assured.

"Will i ever get to see you again?" Rin asked.

Len was silent for a moment, as he seemed to try and mull it over. He knew that if he started appearing in her dreams again she'd become more dependent on him again, but he also knew that she'd be awfully sad without seeing him, atleast once in a while. Infact, he had a feeling he may have just messed her up even more, seeing her after all this time of being independent. That was what he wanted, though. He needed Rin to learn for herself to see what it was like to fend for herself, and not be so dependant on others. But he too missed her like crazy. He knew he aswell would feel lonely without seeing her.

"...Okay, I have an idea, Rin." He said after thinking it over.

"Whats that?" Rin asked.

"Look, I don't want you to be so dependant on me. You need to learn to care for yourself. But I'm sure you know just as much as I know, that I'd miss you so much without so much as visiting every once in a while. So, here's the thing. Once a month, I'll come see you. To check up on you. Even though I want you to learn for yourself, i don't want to loose you completely. So, stand by me. Whenever you're in trouble, stand by me." Len said, taking her hands in his.

Rin laid her head against his chest. 'Deal."

"Good girl, Rin." Len smiled, wrapping his arms around her, to hold her. Just one last time before she'd wake up, and he would have to say goodbye.

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**And that's it folks! Kinda clifthanger I guess, but I suppose you guys can let your imagination roam with what could have happend next. ;D**


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